Beloved Miami scribe, founder of the University of Wynwood, the O, Miami Poetry Festival, and friend of Allography, P. Scott Cunningham delivers this quick and hilarious poem based on a craigslist add he once found. We felt this piece fit perfectly into this issue as a retelling of a typically used forum. The piece was read at Lester’s Bar in Miami, FL on Tuesday, May 17, 2011, as part of FITLFNF, a reading with Matthew Abess. The poem originally ran in PANK Magazine in September 2010.